Self-authentication

We often are interested in authentication for the things that are precious to us such as antiques, art, jewelry; designer items, etc. however, never think to authenticate our most precious thing, ourselves…

Today I decided to introduce this new concept for your awareness. On my other blogs I spoke about social and cultural influences on our being as well as our subconscious. It is not a surprise to anyone of you to see yourself behaving like one of your family member although you think you are very different than them. Or to feel the pressure to behave in a certain way due to cultural doctrines, despite the fact it doesn’t feel right or good for you. In those moments you are exercising your free will towards self-invalidation. When you chose to behave in a way that is not representing your truth, you are falsifying yourself, and giving your power away to someone else or collective psyche of a social group. There are so many examples of this out there and fashion is a very easy one to point out. When you chose to ignore your own taste to fit in and follow what someone else says true for the season, then you are giving your power away to the fashion industry to manage it for you while falsifying yourself, your own truth.

Each time you chose to behave in such a way, you are then weakening your own power. In the Yogic tradition, it is 3rd chakra where our personal will reside. The more you give in and falsify you, weaker you get to follow your own will. And angrier you get as your system knows what is true for you. The source of a lot of depression cases can be found in this type of self-falsification and one’s inability to hold on to their truth.

How can one come back to one’s own power then and re-authenticate one’s self? You may think that all those people doing crunches like crazy bunch at the Gyms to have a six pack found the solution. That cannot be further from the truth. I find most of the exercises out there are being imposed upon people are useless. Exercising industry turned into a fashion-like industry at least in the US. People are keep coming up with something new and useless to make more money on. Most of the exercises are leading people building superficial muscles towards the exterior of the body while weakening and tightening inside. What I recommend is endurance, which is flexibility with strength. That is the key. So you could start building your powerhouse, your 3rd chakra back by engaging exercises such as plank, boat, pushups that build strength within. As the tissue you need to strengthen starts from the pubic bone, connects to belly button and to the heart center. You can see how this dynamic eventually closes your heart to you and diminishes your ability to love yourself.

Along the side of such exercises, I recommend a reflective time to notice where in your body that breath is not flowing through. Your breath, as I mentioned in my other blogs, is one of your major guide. Where breath cannot go through (I call this breath-unable places within the body), there is a falsehood that needs to be resolved and released so that your higher- self, your soul and divine can come to and through you.

As you create awareness about where you hold the tension, you will also start to understand in what circumstances, situations, and towards who you give your power to. This part requires change in the behavior headed for honoring one’s self and you may need a guide, a mentor or a coach to support you while you are choosing differently, especially if you haven’t done this kind of a work before or get to the intimacy with yourself before.

As you learn to honor, re-authenticate yourself and clear your body as well as your consciousness out of the falsifications and untruth, you will move towards more blissful, joyous and self-reverent life.

May you always and all ways understand and honor your true North. May you find strength within to express your truth with love. May you are able to dismiss the falsification and untruth offerings with grace, dignity, compassion, peace and harmony.

PS: I am offering special for self-empowerment 5-sessions pack for who is connecting me and mentioning this blog. Offer expires May 30, 2015. These sessions are structured to explore where you go against yourself and your truth, how and which circumstances you give your power away. During the sessions you will obtain clarity on your behavioral patterns and then will have a choice to make a change. I will utilize coaching questions, guided meditations, breathing techniques, occasional yoga postures and some other techniques for this particular series.

Tijen

New Year’s Resolution

It is this time of the year you will see bunch of articles about what you need to become, what to do with yourself and how you need to be this or that. It is also often this time of the year most of the population decides on how they need to be something other than they are. In both cases, there is a “discontentment”, “discord” with one’s self and sometimes even guilt and shame is imposed through the thought leaders or teachers that tell people they are not “good enough” so they need to improve this or that…

I remember having this conversation with a Yogi Friend couple of years ago, he said, my resolution is “not to improve myself” this year. Even that had some “less-ness” in it. How about coming to the terms, appreciation, accordance and harmony with one’s own existence, grace, the beauty and creativity, and appreciating that for a year!

I see year after year my friends and people in my community struggling with themselves trying to change by resisting a part of them. As a coach, I can assure you, no change can take place by resistance. Only acceptance will bring energies of compassion and movement into the existence. Plus, resolution, by definition means resolving something, coming to terms with it. Therefore some superficial goals, like losing weight or exercise will not hit the core challenge inside that is waiting to be heard, come to terms with and resolved…

So the very first day of this year I am writing to create awareness around the information you might be getting bombarded with that has shame or guilt-based programming, social psyche and conditioning that will lead you into creating superficial goals, which will further alienate yourself from you. If you could, please take a moment to step out this non-ending circle of “needing to be improved” for a moment to reflect and plug you into you. Take a moment to appreciate your unique divinity, your grace, your creativity and beauty that you are here to offer. Make this year a “Celebrating You” year. In JOY accepting you as the creative, resourceful and whole human being. Make a year of freedom from nothing to improve here, move along year!! And a year to exit from all the social programing that tells that you are not enough so that they can manipulate you into doing whatever they need you to do such as buying a book, liking them on their Facebook, getting them to join their church, community, buy their product, whatever it is.

May your year be filled with grace that is equivalent to yours. May you see your beauty, light and peace through the mirrors of your life. May you engage in activities and thoughts that are honoring you.

Happy and a Blessed New Year.

Namaste,

Tijen

I am good, and I am enough

There is so much energy floating around the world and in many cultures and countries about not being good enough… We have so much pressure to be the best in whatever we do, super mom, super dad, super employee, super children, high performing whatever…Having the perfect look, perfect house, perfect relationships and list goes on…Have you ever stopped and wondered how are the other people are operating, the ones who have no desire to be the best at everything???

I came to this realization after so many years working in the fortune 100 companies, seeing all these overly driven persons. Even the job descriptions calls for that, despite the fact companies advertise themselves as “equal opportunity employers”!!! If you are only hiring people who are after being super at everything is that an equal opportunity??

Take a moment to think, what makes people want to be the best at everything? Culture is a major factor of course. But then there is another factor, which I thought about writing and submitting to the HR (Human Resources) Journals…That is this big wound in most of us, that is the belief that we are not good enough…So then, which persons would you really want to hire and let them run your company???The ones, who are deeply wounded and constantly trying to be better so they can heal the not-healing wound, or the ones who are content with what is and can drive your resources from their wholeness???

It is a very interesting picture isn’t it??That is the reason why the most people in the corporate world get exhausted after a while; it is a very harsh energy to be part of…

And here is the perspective of other social circles…I got an email from a dear friend of mine yesterday. She was describing her daughter’s chess tournament. How driven the children were and how much pressure the parents were putting on them to win…How healthy can this be? And so what, what happens when they win and who are they winning against? Another child who wishes to better so their parents can accept them, so their parents can feel that they are “good enough parents” in the cost of making their children a race horse…

I admire Olympics in the form or sport artistry…But I am no longer fan of the words “win” and “lose”. We are altogether occupying these lands, the winners are part of our society as well as the losers…If you want to be better at something, do it for the sake of achieving and touching to your own full potential. No need to prove that you are better than anyone else…

A yogi friend of mine, who is also cultural anthropologist, gave me an article two years ago that talks about techniques on “how not to improve yourself”. So that you can learn to be OK and satisfied with you…So that you can see your goodness…Take a moment and connect with that…See how excitingly is waiting inside of you to be noticed…Tell me that did not bring tears into your eyes….

Here is another reflection, the idea of original sin. The interpretation of that is we are not born good enough…How can that be possible? We came from light and when we leave, we go to the light…What is happening in between is our choice. You can chose to believe to these thought patterns that are constantly coming to you from every direction in most cultures, or chose to believe in your goodness and sing your song like that African tribe I mentioned in my “Conditional Love” blog…

So today my prayer for you is your ability to see and connect with your goodness… Bathe yourself in the waters of your own light and the knowledge that “You are good and you are enough”. No-thing to improve today and ever about you. You are a bundle of light, you are a child of divine, a star seed, a sparkle, a wonder-full, loving, human being….You are love…How can you improve love?

And my prayer for you today is to make your connections to others from that full-ness and wholeness…Not from your wounds, less-ness and needing to improve-ness…Notice how everything is different. We all can together heal the cultural wounds…You all know and trust that you can achieve great things by believing yourself not the other way around….Mahatma Ghandi and Martin Luther King are examples of that…

May you all ways and always able to see your light, may you keep singing the mantra “I am good and I am enough; no-thing to improve”. May you learn to love one another from the whole-ness and goodness of each other…

Further resources:

Picture credits: Janosh.com (emergence, release and healing)

Namaste,
Tijen