Exorcism, the choice between fear and faith…

I never liked watching horror movies when I was a little girl and still don’t like it. I want nothing to do with the negativity, darkness or the dark forces. One of my friends gave me her book Owl Medicine early last year. I ended up reading it to find out her story of dealing with the dark forces. In fact she described herself as a carrier of light and staying away from the darkness. However in her spiritual journey she found out in a hard way that ignoring something does not make it go away. After reading her story, I realized that in order to carry the light properly I needed to understand how the darkness and negativity was working so that I won’t become vulnerable to it just by ignorance. I ordered a book that was detailing information about the dark forces and negativity and how it worked in this planet. Some sections really freaked me out and I had a hard time reading it. But I admit that I am glad that I took the courage to read it. The most important awareness I got from this book was further encouraging my understanding of our relationship to “fear” and our ability to “choose and exercise our free will”.

Years ago some wise woman told me that “you cannot have faith and fear” at the same time. You need to choose one or the other. That stuck with me. And now once again I really understood how true that was. With every choice we make we are choosing either the light or the darkness. Every action we have either based on positivity such as trust, faith, love, compassion, or fear. If you are staying present, and looking down to your actions with awareness you start to see this clearly. For example, let’s take a dynamic between your loved one and the event is about them not doing something you ask them to do. You can choose to get angry by thinking that they don’t care about you, they don’t have respect for you, they ignore you, etc… Or you can choose to say, I have no idea what is going on in their world right now, there is no reason for me to be judgmental about it and let it go. You see, in one way you are contributing to negativity based on social conditioning that says if someone behaves in this way you need to interpret that is such and such or you can come up with your new interpretation that says I have no business trying to interpret someone’s behavior, I will choose peace. It is as simple as this. There are so many social conditioning and rules that are embedded in our psyche and we live our lives based on them. But there is a very important point we forget, that these rules started to be developed with the human existence and most of them are based on flight and flight responses. There are no tribes nearby that are going to attack us or tigers running around trying to eat us. In fact we are the ones destroying everything with these outdated rules. (See my expiring needs blog).

In the end, the light, God, Divine, whatever you call the higher source, does not care about what we chose. That is the whole reason why we have “free will”. But the quality of our life and wellbeing depends on our choices. Furthermore, darkness does care about what we chose as it requires our energy in order to exist. And by being ignorant and not being present, we exercise our free will towards the choices we really would not choose if we take a moment to think it though. After all I don’t believe anyone who is reading my blogs wishes to be feeding the darkness through their life force, their breath and energy and weaken themselves by doing so…

I chose to share this awareness with you today after some pondering as every choice you make counts, little ones more than the big ones…My prayer today is for you to be able to stay present, and aware with each breath, and each choice so you can make them towards the light and your wellbeing rather than feeding something you wish to go away…The meaning of the exorcism is defined as “to free (a person, place, etc.) of evil spirits or malignant influences”. With this warrior-like awareness you clear and clean the fear from your psyche, emotional body, your tissue, your cells, your blood, your soul’s history one by one and that is the true exorcism. By clearing the fears that are running your software in the background and eating your energy alive you find true freedom, peace, harmony and wellbeing…

May you find the courage to choose light by each choice, may you develop strength in your heart to choose peace and harmony. May the light surround you, your wellbeing and your choices to support your journey towards the light.

Namaste,

Tijen

Trapeze

I said to my friend while she was coaching me that this feels like my trapeze experience….A couple years ago, I was in a resort and they had trapeze. I was watching people do it since I am afraid of heights. Someone on the line said, why don’t you come and try with us. I said I am afraid of heights. He said who cares. Where else are you going to get this experience, try it…He continued to say, I am a lawyer, I never do risky things, if I am doing it, you need to give it a try…And I did.

Let me explain the experience for those of you who never tried it. You climb on a rope ladder to stand on a tiny step. Before that, I was ready to go back down while climbing up to it, but I could not do it as they were other people behind me on the rope ladder!! Anyhow I managed to get to that step. The instructor was holding me, I was also roped and all, it is safe but my mind does not care about those at all. At that point I cannot convince myself with anything due to the magnitude of fear…After that step, they send you the swing for you to let go of holding the edges of the rope ladder lean into the space to catch the swing so you can jump…That was the scariest thing ever for me…First of all, like that lawyer, I do not like taking risks, I like my environment to be something I can have control over. Secondly, I do not like heights…And thirdly it is hard for me to let go. When I make changes, I like to keep one foot in the new, and the other one in the old so I can take my other foot and the other leg when I am ready…That’s why I practice yoga so I can stretch looooongJ

In this experience, you really need to let go of all your safety nets, let go of known, jump into what is coming towards you, and I did not like that at all…It required complete trust in what was coming to you…I had no other options to jump as I said, since other people were behind me. So I somehow managed to do it. And I tell you, once I did, I didn’t want to get off that swingJ It felt weightless, so free and fun…

So during my friend’s coaching, I remembered that incident. My life felt the same at that moment. I really didn’t want to climb that rope, but somehow I felt like I was on it. I could not go back, and I didn’t want to jump into this unknown thing…A year later and after many jumping experiences like hiking in the high altitudes of Peruvian mountains, traveling in the heartlands of India, working in very different companies, with very different people, coaching terminally ill people and many other things later, I feel like I already jumped, swinging back and forth in the air…It is time for me to get off the swing and come to my new land that is still to be discovered…

I am inspired to share this with you this early US morning…I see that many of us having this trapeze experience last couple of years…I am not alone on this one…I know it is very hard but remember very fun and freeing at the same time while you learn to let go of your needing to control things. What I am noticing as I make progress, that it is creating space of possibilities and authenticity between us and the persons or things involved so that the new outcomes can give a birth to. And I admit, I am enjoying the new outcomes. They feel more loving, effortless, caring and joyful.

So my offering to you this morning to have a trapeze experience….In fact, if you have a place that you literally can try like I did do that. Because it does help you to learn to let go and trust…If you don’t have a place to try it out, then create some small letting go and trusting experiences for you and see what happens. This could be following your team mate’s new idea, taking a new road while driving, going to a new grocery store or whatever, just be little bit more free…As you become more comfortable you can design larger experiences…See where that takes you…

May you fun as much fun as I did on your trapeze experiences…May you learn to let go of the fear and dance with the unknown with harmony and grace…

Namaste,

Picture credits: realmagick.com, peek.com, insideology.com
Tijen