It has been a while that I feel like my life is bit in chaos. I have been pulling the “Tower” and “Death’ cards for some time now and in Tarot they both represent neurotic changes, endings and beginnings that we all resist. It is not only my life that I am observing under this chaotic flow but also in my close circle of friends… I was aware how much I was resisting the change and have a hard time letting go of the current but I didn’t know how to allow myself flow with the unknown waters of this river of chaos, despite the fact that I strategized, architected and facilitated change in my corporate life for many years as a Change Architect and Transformational Coach…Oh, well when it is one’s self, it is much harder to apply coaching and use the logic that share with othersJ
Last night, I had an interesting and very long dream that I never experienced before. It was three parts and after each major part, I was becoming awake so I can remember what was shared with me from my subconscious. I was making a mental note each time I became awake, as I don’t do getting up and writing my dreams in the middle of the night despite the fact I do dream coaching…JFinally when it all ended, towards the final waking hour, I realized how much I am resisting to moving forward into what my life is about to bring to me. Of course I have no idea what that is, but resisting it, not helping with anything at all other than creating unnecessary stress, just like being on a rollercoaster and sitting so nervous and uptight. When you do that, you bang your body to the chair much harder and have a harder time with the flow, rather than being relaxed and flowing with the movement….Duh, don’t I know that as a change coach and a yoga teacher…But the unknown, freaks all of us out as if we have control in anything at all in our life. All we can do is to stay present and respond as things are happening….
So my last night’s major “aha” or “satori” moment was to realize “chaos” as a divinely designed change tool. We initiated chaos and chaotic flows in order to make quantum leap movements and shifts in our spiritual development. If we didn’t engage chaos there would be no way we would leave our comfort zones and make the changes that we need to do despite how much we outgrown from the places, situations, relationships, etc.
Therefore today, I would like to bring awareness into the chaos in your lives. When we design our lives before we come to earth school, most of us chose to insert chaotic events into it as a change mechanism so we spiritually grow. However, when we come to earth, we have no memory of this and we are afraid from our own growth as Caroline Myss talks about it in her teachings. In Greek mythology, Lethe was one of the five rivers of Hades. Also known as the Ameles Potamos- The River of Unmindfulness. The Lethe flowed around the cave of Hypnos and through the Underworld, where all those who drank from it experienced complete forgetfulness. The souls were required to drink from its water in order to forget their earthly life. We wouldn’t know of course how true this myth is but it certainly makes sense as if we remembered what it is we were going to experience we would completely become fearful to move through with the experiences we are in our lives. One of the main spiritual evolutions is to develop courage to not only carry our own power but to acknowledge it. So we engage chaos as a divine tool and a friend that helps us to go through.
When chaos is present, remember you won’t be talking a regular walk into the new ; rather will be jumping a quantum leap, just like a grasshopper, into the new setup you need to experience. That experience might be unknown to you but not at all this means bad, it is simply unknown. In those moments of chaos, the main thing is being tested at the soul level is your “faith”, “your ability to trust yourself” that you can handle any situation that is coming towards you. So chaos and a self-trust are very much related, consequently your choice between self-doubt and self-assurance. Which one would you chose?
May you are able to reach and locate your feelings of self-assurance and self-trust during your surf with the river of Chaos. May you are able to find peace and joy in your chaotic rides.