Where you are is not where you are going to stay…

I so wanted to say that to my darling friend who faced one of the deepest tragedies a human being can experience…But her sorrow was so new I could not dare to say it…I wish someone told me that when I was experiencing losses in my family… Sometimes the grief or whatever the emotion you are experiencing is so overwhelming one would wonder if one can ever get out of that tide…In fact, I remember saying the very same thing to my close friends after losing my nephew. It felt like if I allowed myself to experience the grief, I will go to the bottom of the ocean, never can come back and suffocate myself along with my tribe…My husband told me to get it together so I can help others to heal through. I called that a grief leadership and spoke about it on my blog called “Leadership”. This time I am going to speak about transformative impact of the grief as a teacher…

I adore supportive, loving, caring friends in my life. They are the ones create Safe Heaven for us to explore and express ourselves into being. However the most challenging people in our lives, the siblings, the children, the parent, the colleague, the boss, etc. are the ones who are pushes us out of our comfort zone to become who we meant to become…So I say to my students and to my clients, bless the ones that are giving you the “grief”…As hard as it might be. Otherwise one would hardly get out of their comfort zone and create new boundaries of one self.

I am travelling at the moment and decided to teach my students how to dance with the fear today since fear and grief work very much together. It is often our fear of facing with a grief after some experience immobilizes us. And that paralysis whether it is small or big that creates so much inner disturbance. We have an amazing Treasure Box that is given to us with all our skills before we come to experience life here on earth. Those are our natural gifts. We are also gifted with Pandora’s Box that holds our fears. In life we are to use the Treasure Box to process what is in the Pandora’s Box towards our graduation from this life experience so that we can offer our gifts to others; develop and stretch ourselves.

During one life time, one can have many final exams and graduation in between the levels of the learning such as from high school to PhD examples. And to me, one of the ultimate tests is to loss of a loved one. What would one do with that grief by using the skills and gifts one has…This test no one is prepared enough and no one is willing to take…

Despite that, once you are in the exam of course you have many choices. You could chose to say in grief and not use your gifts, or chose to allow a piece of you to die with the dying, and to rebirth yourself with your gifts to offer compassion and to give yourself to others in a brand new, much deeper, much more compassionate way as a wounded leader…

I hope that during the times of despair, you could find the courage within and connect that to your desire to serve others to lead you into new you. I hope that you use your Pandora’s Box very carefully and peacefully with grace so by the time of your transition there is nothing left in it. And I hope that you get familiar with both of your Boxes and energy between them. So that you know what is in each, to create ultimate response recipes for you…

May you find love, compassion, courage and understanding within to create most magnificent healings for yourself and others with your Treasure and Pandora’s Boxes…

I dedicate this blog to my Darling Angel Adrienne with the blessings for her journey towards healing…

Picture credit: http://pbguild.guildlaunch.com/

Namaste,

Tijen

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